Barely get any signal here so give up. If you agree with me yay! If you don't agree with me yay! If you don't agree with me and you're a bellend then boo

Started calling the middle of a loaf of bread “the king’s bread” and saying things like “a cheddar this fine demands the king’s bread!” This is just one of the many ways I have scraped joy out of a cold and unaccountable universe.

You keep sending me DMs demanding my ‘solicitors (sic) details’ obnoxious cat, for what purpose I’m not entirely sure. But to keep you happy they’re Messrs Sue, Grabbit and Runne, a quick Google search will give you their contact details. See you in court, chum! 😉

If I ever start lobbing rockets at them I'll begin worrying

I will never stop loving what happens on here - recently I said something about legal professionals treating the public like idiot children and someone said my tweet was 'puerile and ignorant'

Once had to have an ambulatory ECG for an arrhythmia (scary) and the first time they forgot the machine and had to reschedule for 2 months time, and then the next time they had the machine but not the thing to put in it to record the data. Next appointment was 3 months

We don't seem to be generally taught knife safety and I do feel although there are only probably a few fatal incidents a year, a small slip can be lights out pretty quickly and it would be worth it

I know it's a principle but I don't care either. I've received gifts from companies before, sometimes even out of the blue. It's just how it, mostly, works

A katana is USELESS without proper technique, shows a video of it cutting through 4 tatami mats before stopping, enough to easily kill any human being on or off the planet

People who call others cowards for expressing their sensible right to be anonymous online. Normally by people who continuously shit the bed whenever they post

I try to pitch in to medical campaigns for Ukraine. If you've got a few bucks in your donation budget, throw some Viktor's way.