Respected Influencer(@InternetHippo) 's Twitter Profileg
Respected Influencer

@InternetHippo

I just make my little posts and don't bother anyone

ID:19638752

calendar_today28-01-2009 06:01:15

5,3K Tweets

342,8K Followers

312 Following

Respected Influencer(@InternetHippo) 's Twitter Profile Photo

It's so funny to hire someone for an ostensibly important job and then be like listen you have to be here every day or else I can't tell whether you're working. There's only one job that makes sense for and that job is scarecrow

account_circle
Respected Influencer(@InternetHippo) 's Twitter Profile Photo

If you read your lease carefully it says in the event of war you are obligated to serve as a knight in your landlord's army

account_circle
Rich Traditions(@allahliker) 's Twitter Profile Photo

the trick to defeating imposter syndrome is not by realizing you're not an imposter. because you are. you're an incompetent boob, a total disgrace. the trick is noticing how bad everyone else is too

account_circle
Respected Influencer(@InternetHippo) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Not sure why everyone is arguing about covid mitigation tactics again but for me the reason I do a lot of that stuff is because it's easy and i don't like being sick

account_circle
h b(@h3xenbrenner2) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Well, well, well. Look who’s come crawling back. If it isn’t my one year old son I accidentally left at the park

account_circle
Respected Influencer(@InternetHippo) 's Twitter Profile Photo

(saying something slightly ambiguous on the internet) ah i could've phrased that better but i'll probably get the benefit of the doubt from thousands of strangers who only come here to get pissed off

account_circle
Respected Influencer(@InternetHippo) 's Twitter Profile Photo

They don't give you any notice when new guys come on the scene anymore, every week there's a headline like 'Rapper Lil Pickles Dead at 89' and you're like who

account_circle
Respected Influencer(@InternetHippo) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I have a relatively austere lifestyle but it's not because I'm worried about spending money or anything, I just hate fun

account_circle