Mother of god.

Can’t let a few medium-range ballistic missiles kill the beach vibe too soon. #Respect

Not to be mean but “rare view” implies that we all don’t see this exact same thing out the window of every single commercial flight.

Me: “Son, bring a neck pillow for the team bus. Grab some sleep.”

Him: “I can’t use a neck pillow. I have a reputation.”

Me: “Your reputation?? What reputation is that?”

Him: “…….I don’t know. Not the kind that uses a neck pillow.”

you know it’s serious when Biden leaves the beach to go back to his pesky job of being the president of the United States

Hey don’t stress it. It was just a little thing like the civil rights of 300 million Americans.

Feel better.

“Maybe you should stop talking about abortion and focus on other things cause it’s bad for the election!”

Who was it who brought abortion back into the news again? Was ANYONE talking about abortion before Monday?

Correct. Note, tho - while we lost the warrant amendment by one vote… (every “no” vote OWNS it)… & final vote on FISA re-auth passed (thankfully just 2 years now)… we forced ANOTHER vote Monday before it passes. Make your voice heard: #GetAWarrant

The most dangerous thing happening today is the government turning the national security apparatus and aiming it at the American people. Nothing else even comes close to the danger of that.

Fight locally. Your county sheriff and your state legislature will mean a LOT soon.

Sometimes the listeners give me daunting tasks such as this one.

The 10 stages of mRNA denial:
1) It's the cure!
2) It's not the cure but it prevents you from getting it
3) It doesn't prevent you from getting it but it prevents you from getting sick
4) It doesn't prevent you from getting sick but it prevents you from getting REALLY sick
5) It…

That’s my favorite show too.

I doubt this movie is gonna be realistic unless it includes something about TRADING FOR ALL THE YELLOWS AND PUTTING HOTELS ON THEM AND THEN NOBODY LANDING ON THEM EVER.

That might be the coolest compliment ever be ever been given.

Make sweeping generalizations about women. If you really want engagement, that’s the key. Make sure it’s ridiculous too.

“Women with freckles make children with webbed feet.”

You’ll have the entire female population boosting your engagement for a week.

I remember that show.

The response is always worse than the threat. Panic is expensive.

In many ways, I’m grateful for COVID. More specifically, I’m grateful for what it revealed about my country’s institutions and many of my fellow countrymen.

I’m much wiser now than I was.