“I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... Gullis eating soup with a fork. I watched Braverman try to deport a sofa. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain... Time to die.”

Check it, the latest Liam Vaughan joint is out and it sounds like a belter…

Just when you think Nicky Woolf’s superb Fur and Loathing podcast can’t pull any more surprises, enter: … the global fart championship. No spoilers, just listen and thank me later

I grew up in Tunbridge Wells and this is precisely the kind of good sense I look for in an elected representative

To anyone I know planning to attend the cricket World Cup in America, I will pay top dollar for one of these

Yeah but so is the average turnip

This guy, 1000 years from now, as the only surviving human being on a scorched, barren planet: “Thanks to cutting edge microcellular technology, I have the buttocks of a 23-year-old.”

📖 TTF’S BOOK OF THE WEEK: “Dead in the water: Murder and fraud in the world's most secretive industry; by Matthew Campbell and Kit Chellel 📢 Synopsis In July 2011, the oil tanker Brillante Virtuoso was drifting through the treacherous Gulf of Aden when a crew of pirates

Meanwhile, in the UK…

When the bass drops

Young people today are sad nerds on.ft.com/46373id

wot

Hey Jason Southwell I'm a magazine writer and author, trying to reach you. Shoot me a msg or email? Thanks!

What the hell are they planning

I've been to Australia. That was their best dancer.

I will walk 200 miles and I will walk 200 more. Just to be the man who walks 400 miles to pile some giant stones on the floor ft.com/content/5e6cad… via @ft

You know when you see a guy in a shiny Porsche or something and you think: I wonder what he’s trying to compensate for? Tesla’s cybertruck is that times like a million

me when an editor tries to edit my work

Knowing too much about Lil Yachty feels like a first world problem

Hey Kenna James I'm a Bloomberg writer and wanted to ask you something. Any chance you could send me a DM or email (in bio)? Thanks!