Big shout out to all of you who have managed to get sunburned already.
Great work!

Hairy Laphroaig 🎶 hey Mr Tangerine Man 🎶

I don’t bother people too much and eat Wotsits.

Keir Starmer welcomes bigoted women as Labour MP’s. Changed days…

‘On tonight’s show we’ve got four Tories just in case any of them defect to Labour half way through.’

This is a turn up for the books. I’d always assumed Baby Reindeer was based on Piers obsession with Meghan.

Any other Labour leader would be 20 defections ahead by now...

Keir Starmer isn’t a Tory. He’s simply the leader of a party which even right wing Tories feel very comfortable joining. Okay? Glad that’s all sorted.

Natalie Elphicke is deserting a rat because he didn’t sink enough small boats.
It’s all very confusing.

Deir Keir, please may I defecate to your party as all my friends are going away and I’m lonely and I promise to be good from now on. Love Jon xxx

Happy birthday to David Attenborough (shown here having an emotional reunion with that baby gorilla he met). 98 today!

They were also the first Parliament to spend £1 trillion on cutting services to save money.

David Icke has entered my feed for the first time. Christ.

newyorker.com/news/essay/shi…
Need to read this again. Beautifully done for sure.

It’s very amusing how a new Tory scandal breaks every day he does this. Bit of a curse there I reckon.

The Home Office can't stop the boats, but they can stop the planes. A win's a win.

'We transferred someone to Rwanda last week and paid them £150 million. Is that how it works in football too?'

'We're going to have so few MP's we'll probably sit in a 4-4-2 formation in the Commons'.

Little Rishi proving he’s a man of the people by stirring his own Pot Noodle.

Up next; voting- it’s time to scrap it.