My stepdad has just finished a speech about how awful a local pub is to my teenage nephews with ‘but if they serve you underage, you put up with it don’t you’ #Nottingham

The one bit of Corned Beef Remembering I will allow is the loss of pre sugar tax chocolate. For my money the only high that comes close now is Dairy Milk buttons, and even they are a shadow memory of what we've lost

I've just been on BBC Merseyside, talking about the significance of the support for Spellow Hub library after the riots. Thanks to all those authors pledging books for #ReadingNotRioting. Please remember to get your books packaged & sent out as soon as poss! RT

Finding out you kept someone company during a difficult time is one the best parts of writing 🧄🤝

Ohhhhh my god u never liked oasis? should we tell everyone? Should we throw a party?should we invite damon albarn

Commissioning editors/producers: I was a rock journalist in the mid-90s, and while I have no opinion either way about the reunion, I am - and I cannot over-emphasise this - prepared to pretend I do for money.

why don't we start with what you do understand

We’re labelling ourselves to death

attempting to smoke in a pub garden and getting taken out by a starmer aerial attack

the scarcity / cost of hotel rooms / Air BnBs on the Oasis dates is the true horror of these gigs, not the ticket scramble. Especially as most fans aren't of the "cheerfully roughing it" age.

It’s “dynamic pricing” when a higher price can stimulate higher supply to meet the demand. Uber prices go up, more drivers come to the area = more supply. When supply is fixed – and nothing is more fixed than the capacity of a gig venue – then it’s just insourced price gouging.

George Clooney spending his Nespresso money on keeping a spy satellite over Sudan

amazon.co.uk/You-Belong-fee… my romantic comedy about how a celebrity & a civilian might make it work - OR NOT - is less than a quid for all of Sept! Wrote this one straight from the heart as I love these characters 💛

Kill them all. The devil will know his own

If you told me Daniel Craig was filming a Richard Madeley biopic I would believe you

It can't be *that* boring.

when you triple check an email before sending

Just saw a FB post asking 'what's the greatest movie of all time?' And someone said 'Pretty Woman.' Never mind 'we don't deserve dogs,' we pretty much don't deserve oxygen.

infinity grunt

Ridiculously over excited to tell you about my new rom com COVER STORY, out next Spring. Journalists, the north, enemies to lovers, fake dating, flirty snark: all my favourite things. I'm in love with Bel & Connor. Pre order link is here: lnk.to/cover-story