Grant Shapps plays Warhammer which qualifies him to be Defence Secretary these days apparently. Struth!

Text from Rishi Sunak:

‘I think I’ve put the ‘mad’ into Mad Nads.’

Nadine Dorries resigns to spend exactly the same amount of time in the TV studio.

History will not remember Nadine Dorries.

Brexit, taking back control of our borders.

Taking us for fools more like.

Brexit has left absolutely nothing out there.

‘Scrap targets to drive standards’ is a new one.

The sick man of Europe with non-existent sunny uplands. Brexshit. uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/uk-econom…

Brexit means higher inflation and higher interest rates.

Elon, you xxxx!

Bankers don’t like wankers.

Is Nigel Farage going to apologise for Brexit which, in his own words, has failed?

He’s been awfully quiet.

Wonderful day at Old Trafford watching the cricket. Incredible food, drink and hospitality. Thanks to Coutts for inviting me.

Wonderful day at Old Trafford watching the cricket. Incredible food, drink and hospitality. Thanks to Coutts for inviting me.

Doris can’t remember his passcode to his iPhone.

Text from Boris Johnson:

‘This message was deleted.’

Meanwhile at Boris Johnson’s private office.

What do you mean The Sun made up a story?

Rishi Sunak appears to be taking a helicopter whenever he wants to get away from Parliament and a rail bus replacement service when he needs to head back.

I hope Threads has a better sense of humour than Twitter.