The Tuesday golf column, Neil? Environmentally sound approach. Recycle the same auld s***e on a weekly basis...

The modern world never fails to fascinate. Waiting on a Duncan Norvelle comment on the coxless pairs...

Maclain Ward. Sounds like an equine treatment centre set up for damaged fetlocks. Great show-jumping scenes...

Never loses its lustre...

Mulling over golf's myriad embuggerances. A timeless, unmistakable pose...

The 20-month auld has joost had a sma' nibble of a Pickled Onion Monster Munch and the squeak of jubilation was on a higher pitch than Femke Bol's post race interview. Giddy scenes...#OlympicGames

Quite the Subbuteo scene...

Looks a bit like tour golfers going through the elaborate palaver of the AimPoint putting technique...

This, Richard, is the pork, black pudding and apple jelly pie at Alwoodley Golf Club. A tour de force...

The daily delivery of Fisher & Donaldson sundries arrives at 3pm and they're usually gone by 3:02pm in an orgy of media chomping that's akin to a shoal of Piranhas stripping a stricken warthog doon ta the bare bones..only less civilised. #AIGWO

The Scottish summer has been so infuriatingly rubbish, even statues are saying 'f*** this'...

....and dinna forget the flagship Scottish PGA Championship at Dalmahoy covered by, er, Nick Rodger

"Evening shed. There are folk in Scotland who think we need to adopt a continental cafe culture."....."Oh aye? What a load of auld bollocks"

Viktoria Plzen players taking in the Scottish PGA Championship at Dalmahoy. Big Jambo Andy Oldcorn gan weel. Might get a game for the Herts?

"How's the fettle tonight shed, auld son? They were saying a ridge of high pressure was building and we might get an Indian summer?"....."They were talking utter shite"

Keir Starmer, the Royal Artillery, the British Army Championship at Prestwick....

Yes, we can coo aboot hoity toity puddings like caramelised swan's beak resting on a nest o' meringue coated unicorn horn but ee canna beat custard and a dollop o' rhubarb...

Ah think Frank Zappa wore this t-shirt at the Apollo, presumably as a tribute to Doogie. A jolly night to be had here. The story of a Major champion and Clyde fitba club is a good 'un...

Does Ronaldo use Elnett lacquer?

The great John Oates looks like he's coming in to connect wi' a back post heider after a tantalising cross fra Socrates...