Don't forget, award winning 😉🎶

Is this your retweet?
🤭

Most people know when the party is over.

Rishi Sunak is pissing in the punchbowl, trying to convince everyone to have one more drink.

#GeneralElectionN0W

And this is just the bare minimum requirement for a knighthood.

Send help.

I'm being held hostage by a policeman who's been accused of corruption.
He's demanding a hostage negotiator played by Kevin Spacey.

If the CEO of a company cut contact with their biggest suppliers, ran a board filled with corrupt criminals, rapists and perverts, set up a fast profiteering lane for chums and gave contracts to the Mrs.

He'd be in prison.

Rishi Sunak has done this and much more.
#ToryScumOut

Animal cruelty is a sure sign of psychopathy.

There is no informed consent.

Dogs are trusting loving animals.

Mark Menzies.
A fucking scumbag.

Defense secretary Grant Shapps.
Wasn't here to talk about his corrupt perverted mate's chaps.
So he launched two world wars.
Football fans remain hopeful.

I'm being held hostage by bad people.

So are you.

#GeneralElectionN0W

'I had absolutely no idea I was prime minister until those Australian TV people told me at that old ladies funeral'

Well, they see Rishi Sunak milking us for everything. So just a normal Wednesday.
#GeneralElectionN0W

news.sky.com/story/mark-men…

Just a reminder of my call to Sajid Javid.
Record funding?
Or as the anger in his face suggests.....
An opportunity for the Tories to dismantle the NHS.
Don't forget their pandemic profiteering while healthcare staff were dying.
#PMQs

Laura Trott:

Gets confused doing the hokey cokey.

Calling Bev a journalist is like calling Norman Bates a hotel inspector.

Sometimes twitter leaves me speechless 😂
(A bit like Farridge 😉)

Nigel Farage says attempts to censor him in Brussels show that he was right about leaving Europe, as he refuses to leave Europe

You'll figure out why this makes you a turnip.
Well, maybe 🎶

Happy to spit some bars at his wake, old chap 🎶

Remember when our Royal family had tea with Hitler?

This foreskin with a face seems to have forgotten.

From Raver to Raving lunatic.

Don't do drugs, kids.

#SaferWithSyphilis