For the record, GrieveWatch is the best thing on twitter since Rate your resignation letter

So there's a particular quirk of English grammar that I've always found quite endearing: the exocentric verb-noun compound agent noun.

It appears in a definite, remarkably narrow period - not more than 150, 200 years - before dying out, leaving loads of legacy words in its wake.

We need to create new, modern ones. How about a ‘takeselfie’ or a ‘bingebox’?

Rate your resignation letter Kevin Quinn During the hiatus, I think you should set up a Rate My Curtsy. The new PM’s first attempt was dire.

Dial down the hyperbolic 'truly wonderful' writing to pack more of a 'mighty punch'. Para 7 is like Pilgrim's Progress, guiding Bill Online-Safety through the Long Grass, past the Tech Giant & into the valley of the Eyes of the World.The end is tender, like a Hallmark card. 7/10

I’m sharpening my pencil for a Nadine Dorries resignation letter. Is it there yet ?

This is a list not a letter. Use paragraphs! Have 3-5 sentences per paragraph, each centred around a single idea. Lines like ‘We have also rightly been tough…’ are maladroit. Edit it to one side of A4, and try to add at least one para on why exactly you’re resigning. 6/10

‘Brevity is the soul of wit’. A ten page resignation letter certainly gets the prize for being a comprehensive missive, but should be accompanied by a sachet of instant coffee to keep the reader awake and focused.

Why you need arts graduates Rishi Sunak, specifically English graduates.

Why the demonstrative pronoun ‘that’? Just say ‘the next election’. It isn’t like there are two and you’re trying to distinguish one from the other.

My new fav expression is “doubling down on levelling up”. That will work in any prezzo 😂

Start with ‘I’m straightforward and straight-talking.’ Adding ‘honesty’ comes across as less honest. Sentence 2 sounds clumsy. Try ‘When I say I’m going to do something, I do it.’ The tricolon at the end has a nice rhythm but it’s meaningless. ‘I’ve done it’ What exactly?

‘Now, look, kid, enough is enough.' Nice homage to Arthur Miller’s ‘Death of a Salesman.' You’re rolling out the red carpet & turning a blind eye. Not every sentence has to be a metaphor. Next time use some plain English. 7/10

You start with a predictable tricolon. The anaphora piles the emphasis on 'free'. Stop over-writing; lose 'its embrace of'. Sentence 2 is dreadful. The antithesis of 'doubling down on levelling up' is clownish. Aspiration nation means a breathing nation. WTF is the alternative?

Can Rate your resignation letter move on to leadership pitches please?