100% cotton sweet bastard detectors.

“Hey, man, is that …”

“You’re goddamn right it is.”

Be that fucking guy.

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Look, you can say what you want, but Monster was the fucking shit in 1994 and you know I’m speaking truth.

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When you’re talking about the greatest coaches in football history, I always start with Vince Lombardi and Goldie Hawn …

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Introducing the all-new 1984 Buick Lower Middle Class.

“What are you doing today?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe I’ll write IN MULTIPLE FUCKING COLORS. Everyone can kiss my ass now.”

Felt like a Mr. Robinson Wednesday here in Chicago …

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This motherfucker was just trying to have a little fun with a naïve white lady and then his wife has to go and throw him under the bus. No way their marriage lasted past 1979. I hope he found a woman who deserved him.

There should’ve been a movie called “Drago” where he’s shamed in Russia after losing to Rocky, renounces communism, becomes a U.S. citizen, asks Balboa to train him, and beats some new Soviet badass. I’ve got myself psyched up now just writing this.

“And the rockets’ red glare … buncha bombs in the air … came proof to the night that we still had a flag.”

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Joe Namath was stunned in 1975 when he became the first NFL player to be penalized 15 yards for unnecessary pimping. Namath strenuously objected to the call on the grounds that pimping is always necessary.

Let’s revisit this subject in five minutes …

What happens at the Water Buffalo Lodge is not to be spoken of outside the Water Buffalo Lodge.

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Some men are lovers. Some men are fighters. A chosen few can do it all. I don’t think I have to tell you which category this sweet bastard is in. 🌹🥊

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Made “nyuck” a word. Thank you for your service.

Tragical History Tour and Shabby Road changed my goddamn life …

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Willie McGee poses after beating an unidentified teammate into a coma.

American automotive luxury at perhaps its goddamn finest. Experience the pure adrenaline of “I hope we get there.”

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Throw up a hand if you remember the magnificent summer when all anyone really cared about was who shot this glorious sumbitch.

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Let’s just say Chicago was blessed in 1987.

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