Elegance. Sophistication. Genius. It's The Onion on TikTok. bit.ly/3zeKlEf

Taylor Swift Fans Explain How They Got Tickets To The Eras Tour bit.ly/3lTZSGb

Mental Health Experts Say Friends Giving Away Possessions Could Be Warning Sign They Planning On Moving bit.ly/3zbjl8z

Area Man Accepts Burden Of Being Only Person On Earth Who Understands How World Actually Works bit.ly/3GmfmKr

Guy Just Trying On Shirt Right In Middle Of Store bit.ly/3lQLK0o

Man Has Loyalty To Pretzel Brand bit.ly/40ossia

Republicans Explain Why They Support A ‘Parents Bill Of Rights’ bit.ly/430pfqT

Maze With Cheese In Center Enters Human Trials Following Decades Of Testing On Mice bit.ly/3TQhI9K

Avoid looking back on your deathbed and wishing you'd spent more time accumulating material possessions. Carpe diem. Shop the Onion Store today. bit.ly/3WZrPts

Area Man Holding Out Until Next Exit For Better Fast Food Options bit.ly/40ESzkw

Idaho Becomes Latest State To Permit Execution By Firing Squad bit.ly/3nv8Fiu #WhatDoYouThink ?

Taylor Swift Fans Explain How They Got Tickets To The Eras Tour bit.ly/40onBxc

Pretentious Baby Who Just Learned Word ‘Daddy’ Won’t Stop Inserting It Into Conversation bit.ly/3nyqQ6I

‘What’s Old Is New Again,’ Says Ford CEO Unveiling New Donkey-Drawn Turnip Cart bit.ly/3K2an2y

Philadelphia Residents Avoiding Tap Water After Catching Horrifying Glimpse Of Hairless, Wheezing Gritty bit.ly/3zeVeFR

A Florida principal was recently forced to resign after parents complained that the art curriculum was obscene. The Onion asked Florida parents to explain why Michelangelo’s David is porn, and this is what they said. bit.ly/3Kkxs1O

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God Accidentally Burns Down Heaven After Curling Iron Malfunctions bit.ly/3Zs8PED