Nobody In Entire Dodgers Organization Has Heart To Tell Ohtani What Going On With Interpreter bit.ly/3Q1eYFE

Turn down that infernal rap band and open up your wallet for the Kelly Collection. Buy it here: bit.ly/43Y669N

Excavation Of Ancient Pompeii Kitchen Unearths Fully Intact ‘Leave The Gun, Take The Cannoli’ Tea Towel bit.ly/3UfM7Qz

Man Who Came To Restaurant Bald Forced To Wear Maître D’s Toupee bit.ly/4aykwjg

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Parenting Experts Warn Of Negative Effects From Sealing Newborn For Years Inside Chamber Made Entirely Of Glowing Screens bit.ly/4ayu4e4

Kansas City Chiefs Superfan ‘ChiefsAholic’ To Pay $10.8 Million For Bank Robbery bit.ly/4cR5gj9

Extra Egg Roll Thrown In By Mistake Becomes Man’s Sole Reason For Living bit.ly/4aOJ4Eu

New Mother Forced To Put Dream Of Becoming Central Asian Dictator On Hold bit.ly/3Uc0wNE

Police Pleasantly Surprised To Learn Man They Shot Was Armed bit.ly/3TTyXaK

Local Man Knows He Moved To Minneapolis For Something, But Can't Remember What bit.ly/4aPRFqn

Second-Grader Likes To Save Purple Pills For Last bit.ly/3VX9vnq

Loose-Cannon ACLU Investigator Beats Recantation Out Of Confessed Murderer bit.ly/3JgbJqj

Recovering Sex Addict Assures Friends They Can Still Bone Around Him bit.ly/4amcQRb

Kid Figures He’ll Go Down Slide 35 More Times Then Call It A Day bit.ly/4aRb4HK