Nation Can’t Wait To Wake Up And Start Eating Again bit.ly/3w41YbQ

Quirky Restaurant’s Bathroom Had Better Fucking Deliver bit.ly/3UezqnS

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie bit.ly/3WauQcU

6-Day Visit To Rural African Village Completely Changes Woman’s Facebook Profile Picture bit.ly/4aMN6h8

Favorite Curse Word In Every State bit.ly/3Ukch3I

Area Man Proud He Can Still Fit Into Car From High School bit.ly/3QhOvns

Trump Held In Contempt Of Court After Stabbing Michael Cohen To Death With Ballpoint Pen bit.ly/3xYDgdh

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Damning New Report Finds Someone Not Wearing The Shirt Wife Picked Out For Them bit.ly/3UtCtKa

Walmart Baby Registry Questionnaire Includes Checkbox For Whether Or Not Pregnancy Forced bit.ly/44byepW

Report: Your Mother A Sexual Creature bit.ly/4b7GQQF

Tearful God Admits To Kidnapping Humanity 4,000 Years Ago To Raise As Own Children bit.ly/44sER7H

Custom Fireplace Store Totally Jumps Gentrification Gun bit.ly/3W9IjSg

Tesla Fans Explain Why Elon Musk Deserves $56 Billion Payout bit.ly/3UtHeU3

Plainly and obviously, you appreciate the Muppets on a much deeper level. Buy this mug now and prove it. bit.ly/447pIIB

Americans Explain Why Presidents Should Have Immunity bit.ly/49P1qo7

World Wildlife Fund Publishes Photo Of What Species Last Seen In 1987 Might Have Evolved To Look Like bit.ly/4d8E1R5