'I see every future. It is coming. Holy war spreading across the universe like unquenchable fire.'

'The Jews Killed Christ!' Says Man Whose Sin Killed Christ buff.ly/4a9z7AJ

Way ahead of you

If you read the New Testament and think the big takeaway is 'the Jews killed Jesus', read it again and more slowly this time

Behold the man upon a cross:
My sin upon His shoulders;
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers.
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished;
His dying breath has brought me life:
I know that it is finished.

**taps the sign**

The joke obviously isn't getting through, so let me try again. It's that I'm voting for Aragorn Elessar, King of Gondor.

Hope this is helpful.

Maybe the joke wasn't clear. Allow me to explain. It's that I'm voting for Aragorn Elessar, King of Gondor. Hope this helps.

Or, and hear me out, I'm simply voting for Aragorn Elessar, King of Gondor

Woke Jesus

My babylon bee writers did not appreciate my headline pitch

I'm Kyle, I'm 37, and I'll be voting for Aragorn Elessar, King of Gondor in November. How about you?

I'm Kyle, I'm 37, and I'll be voting for Aragorn Elessar, King of Gondor in November. How about you?

This is just a curb your enthusiasm plot

Nabisco Introduces Long-Awaited Chick-fil-A Sauce-Stuffed Oreos buff.ly/44A6n38

Sometimes I wonder if I like baseball or if I'm just autistic