I love these new conservative ideas like *squints* Maoism.

The golden rule: Aside from being easier to get, a swing vote that you steal from the other side is worth twice as much as an extremist vote who would otherwise not vote or go 3rd party. The platinum addendum: This is true on the left, too.

93 of the top 100 telecasts of 2023 were NFL games. It is literally the closest thing to a common cultural touchstone in the US nowadays. The Nation is run by idiots.

New video game idea: Jason’s Paparazzi. Get the perfect shot (of him massacring someone) and then escape. Someone give me 25 million dollars and the Friday the 13th license.

Wow this is awesome can’t wait to see Bernie Mac again what’s he been up to

Wow omigod what if people use computers to do math

Oh great another year where those of us watching football have to endure endless cutaways to that preening vainglorious idiot up in the booth I’m referring of course to Cris Collinsworth

My five year old is rooting for the chiefs. Where did I go wrong.

Seriously, fuck this asshole.

The only decent thing about JD Vance is that it appeared that he actually really valued children but no he’s even a garbage human on that front.

Me, a dumb dumb lib: You really should report on how absolutely gone Trump's brain is. Just an absolute incoherent mess. You, a savvy, unbiased journalist: Ackshuallly his brain was *always* like this ...so no need to actually report on it at all. Move on...

I'm glad I did it. It grew me as a person. I really hope I'm never forced to be that guy again.

I will give any reporter a thousand bucks if they can get any kind of detail on this plan that would actually do this and also doesn't make even the most conservative economist on earth laugh until they pee themselves.

Gosh I don't understand what the problem is. I mean, this is how FromSoft fans talk to everyone else.

Boy it’s sure awesome that the same press who spent months hounding Joe Biden because he’s old and sometimes have senior moments absolutely refuses to do their fucking jobs because everyone already knows that Donald Trump is old and sometimes talks like a fucking lunatic.