Hello, I’m looking for some flop flops that make it look like I’m sitting on the toilet.

Gilet, the vest a man can get.

Look, there’s Harry Po… oh, my mistake.

Have a quick honk on this and pass it on. X open.spotify.com/track/3jeD90lk…

I joined Threads the other week. I don’t really like it. It appears to just be stolen tweets from here, and ‘musos’ craving attention.

Congratulations to San Marino. First win in 20 years.

It never goes to soft metal.

Bread.

No woman…

So unplug the jukebox, and do us all a f

I’m lazy, but I’m not the man who named Brown Sauce lazy.

I'll always remember my Uncle fondly. Not the nicest nickname, but then he was a very tactile man.

Sunday People! If you are in the market for a comedy adventure story for a young person. This might be it #KeepKidsReading #ComedyAdventure #PrimarySchoolBooks

Remember when I met Darth Vader, the actual official one, the proper real one, the one off of the film? I did yes.

I was playing Slap Bass Hero last night. I got to level 42.

The Magic Man 🪄 He’s had the rest of Super League on strings the last month.

Like Elvis, I also love meat tender.

If anything, The Lighthouse Family steered me towards rock.

Just pulling out of Paddington. That'll make him drop his marmalade sandwich.

Just went past Weston-Super-Mare, twinned with Champion The Wonder Horse.