Every New Yorker I know is sad to see the outdoor dining sheds disappear. We should prioritize local businesses and places to gather outside over parking spots.

writing my to do list in my notebook instead of my notes app today because i’m not kidding around this time

i’m not fooled by that small greasy hippo. one day he’ll snap

synonyms are so beautiful to me. like u guys just get each other ! what are u two on about ??? lmao i’ll leave you to it

i always do “irish hellos” which is where i arrive at parties without anyone noticing and it hurts my feelings

pretty crazy how early humans discovered how to create fire and now i’m using it to light a candle that’ll make my apartment smell like a root beer float

Poor White Man’s Intersectionality Stops at Poor White Men: ow.ly/vI4X50TrjiU

having someone over to your apartment is so intimate. it’s like welcome! so this is all my stuff

Me (to Tom Petty): So she’s crazy about Elvis and Jesus and America too? That sucks

10 pm on a friday…i can’t believe the weekend’s almost over

staying up late is all about eating a bowl of cereal and reading the wikipedia page for mad cow disease

two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg we should totally start a pamphlet”