The yeti Santa has arrived and I am actually so touched by this random gesture.

How my Santa stalker knew which is my favourite whiskey though I have no idea 🤷🏻‍♀️

The week is done, I'm out. Someone pass me the Halloween blood-covered wig and a whiskey.

This is actually genius.

metro.co.uk/2022/10/26/gam…

My dad is baking at work today. I asked him to send me a photo – so glad I did. Legend bakes with his best HAT on.

And he's had that 'tash for 30+ years because he once shaved it off and I refused to hug him.

Do you think British Conservative PM’s are just, you know, running out of people to appoint? Like a game of “Dumber or Dumber”.

Surely that’s the only explanation for bringing back incompetent MPs… right?

Been very quite on here but thought I may as well start sharing some of my stories i’ve done with Jam Press ! I’ve been working at this news agency for just over two months now and it’s been absolutely amazing! 🥰✨

Rishi Sunak has started to appoint his cabinet after being officially asked by the King to form a new government.

Here's who is in and out of the new government 👇

He’s really not happy about me giving him a bath. So much so, this bastard just let out a silent fart.

In my face.

I mean it’s sort of mad that Suella Braverman can stand down days ago because she broke the Ministerial Code and hey presto, she’s back

He just haaaad to bring Suella “asylum dreams” Braverman back. 🙄

Right, my day is done and I believe I have earned myself a lil' whiskey?

I also want to say a HUGE thank you to my incredible team for putting up with me on a daily basis.

I couldn't do my job without them. I'm not gonna tag you all because there is just TOO MANY of you now ♥️🔥

Already Googled 'human remains' and 'decomposed body' this morning.

Gotta say, sometimes being a journalist is fucking grim.

This is a charity shop. I’m blown away.

I’ve also found a suede leather shirt that I now must buy.

My ❤️

When you and your boss have a special kind of relationship 😂

we go again

Been at Jam Press two years today! It’s been an absolute rollercoaster but I love rollercoasters so that’s a pretty amazing fit.

And a little shoutout to my editor and partner-in-crime Ben Nicholls for his support and putting up with my daily rants

I keep trying to write a tweet that conveys my absolute misery at Boris potentially trying to come back as PM but words fail me.

I am literally paid to think of words to write and I can’t do it.

So this emoji will have to do: 🤢