glenn howerton signed my fake id (long retired, i’m 26) during nyc pride this summer and i was so smashed that i kept calling him “sir” and “mr. howerton” like a little boy addressing his neighbor whose lawn he accidentally threw a baseball onto

everyone give it up for manny

“Perpetuates” can be a huge word in your 20s but then you really have to move on.

“It’s called NIGHTBITCH, Lemon. Amy Adams plays a mother who turns into a dog at night. It’s the first film in the BCU, the Bitch Cinematic Universe with all the movies loosely based on Meredith Brooks’ 1997 Billboard No. 2 single ‘Bitch.’ In some cases, *very* loosely based.”

yeah that 16 month gap in my resume is the time i spent in the woods in new hampshire where eventually god revealed to me that my purpose in life is to be a wealth manager here at wells fargo :)

said “i’m fine” but it wasn’t true, i don’t wanna keep seacrest just to keep you

charlie kelly after hanging out in the sewer

you reading my self indulgent macdennis fic archiveofourown.org/works/49459264…

a fifth vodka cran has hit the me