You can stick your fat-guy t-shirts up your arse. My strategy of choosing large front prints to distract the eye away from particularly well nourished areas has never failed me yet. £30 bats you say, for a plain tshirt? I hope you'll be delivering them by hand on Black Bess.

That guy on the Alpecin advert is too old to only just be addressing his grey hair. Everyone at work is going to ruin him.

So here's my first video, and obviously I'm fucking deadly at it. Available for all your one-handed video needs . #chubbybroccoli 🏴‍☠️

Looks awesome 🍺

£8 for a chest of drawers, if anyone has kids at uni who need cheap furniture. Pain to assemble, but it is a full 4 drawer chest for £7.98. Perfect for art supplies. Definitely not premium quality...

Random box is stocked!!!

Kenya Grace? 🤔 Kenya' grace my TV with some bands please? One for the dads.

If anyone's looking to buy a tent, one just landed in our back garden. 2 - 3 berth maybe? Looks practically unused.

How many of you actually went and had a look at my last blog post? 🤔 I posted the link here and my blog is now FREE to view for everyone! 🐦 If you like my photos and the way I tweet, you should enjoy them! 😊♥️ Link below ⬇️

That Pendulum guy ain't even singing live. Bruh...?

😭

TBH I'm more of a cheese & onion fella these days...

Love this. Now I want cake. instagram.com/reel/C_GKk6OIw…

They're just fucking with us now.

Please retweet to help Azirel find a home #EDENBRIDGE #KENT #UK Available for adoption, registered British Charity✅ Details or apply for Azirel here👇 lastchanceanimalrescue.co.uk/kennel/dog.php Azirel is a very calm and sweet boy who walks lovely on the lead. Enjoys company of other dogs and

Anyone need owt from The Asda?

I should add, because I forget that you all can’t just read my mind, this stuff is only available for a week.

Absolute GENIUS.

Please retweet to help find the owner of this dog found/abandoned #WALKDEN #SALFORD #MANCHESTER #UK Ref J27787. This dog is now at Manchester Dogs Homes. Found near Hilton Lane, Walkden Dog isn’t chipped, no collar/tag. Do you know this dog? If so, please call our contact