This shop in Canada was pretty good, but to make it really authentic I smashed the window and looted it while chanting far right anti immigrant slogans.

Just raw dogged it from Highgate to Camden on the Northern line.

‘I think therefore I scam’. Dodgy Descartes

I haven’t seen any football today, but I presume someone has already scored a contender for goal of the season.

What is so good about an ox’s constitution?

𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐂𝐊 | LIFE'S A BALL 1990s by @zakwaters, Ivor Baddiel A beautiful documentary photobook by Zak Waters that takes a nostalgic and affectionate look at diehard UK football fans in the mid-90s. Fistful of Books 🛒 stanchionbooks.com/products/lifes…

Is it a book? Is it a magazine? No, it’s a bookazine.

In a world obsessed with health and safety, how on earth can cricket players hoof a heavy, potentially lethal object into a large crowd of people?

Pissing down at Coles Park as Haringey Borough take on Brightlingsea Regent. Proper football…if a bit damp, miserable and shit.

Often, when I hear an advert for a sale, it tells me to hurry. But I don’t. I take my time getting there. One nil to me I think.

Listzless #MundanelyMusical

I think I’m now the world’s 5th oldest person.

I’m not sure I fully trust anyone who walks with their hands clasped behind their back.

Found these in a charity shop. Pretty sure they are genuine Elton John glasses, but before I lay out £1.25 for them, can anyone verify that?

Twinings Lemon and Ginger tea is amazing. It helps you reset, gather, go again, shake off the day and awaken inside. It’s also uplifting and playful, zesty, colourful, peppery and zesty (again). And it gives you a moment of vitality. How do they do it?

My drawing of some of the stars of Chelsea’s 2021 Champions League Final win printed on to a mug ✍️⚽️☕️💙 As always retweets are really appreciated 👍🙏 #ChelseaFC #chelsea #cfc

Got stung by a weeverfish last week. Beat that.

I’m sorry, but I just don’t like four o’clock, it’s my least favourite time of day.

Just paid cash for a coffee!! Cash!!

Hannah and her Cysts #MakeAFilmUnhealthy