The housewives naming factory is like you can either be Braunwyn or Lisa

Me explaining the plot of the substance (I haven’t seen it)

Nothing would make me more sure that I was absolutely about to die than a horse calmly arriving at my hospital bed

Is he calling his boyfriend ugly?

I somehow turned on the “described video” setting while watching rhoslc, and it took a solid 3 minutes to realize this wasn’t just part of the show, as salt lake is so batshit, it seemed plausible they’d have a Mary Alice-esque figure telling me Meredith soaks in a tub.

This took such a turn 🤣

Me when I try to ignore the crazy visions of me in LA

Jen Pedranti is an old-school OC housewife with dire finances and a kid that hates her it’s sooo comforting

Up *and* at ‘em? It’s more likely than you think

“Your crush will be there so act normal” Me arriving:

Taking my depressed body to the gym like the zookeeper trying to make Moo Deng have a bath

Stomping around my local park on my mental health walk like Bethenny on the runway

I love checking to see what bethenny’s up to

Drag name: Anne Hedonia