"We've held an Olympic opening ceremony by mistake."

Karen Carpenter: the goth years.

The birthday celebrations have begun.

Sofia Vergara at 52 years old

Tis my birthday. Spending it here!

I meant to quote it! Just wanted to say she's obviously never been a teacher!

We have a Canal Street near me, sometimes known as Anal Treet.

Reading this has made my day. That's sarcasm, by the way. cnn.com/2024/08/02/cli…

The racists can feck right off out of my city.

I witnessed this in 1987, on an interail trip. I think about it every time I get stuck in traffic on a commute!

“When I owned Twitter I posted that the the UK was on the verge of civil war after a gang of piss heads stole some sausage rolls from Greggs.”

My car exhaust fell off last night in a part of Leicester I'm not familiar with. An Asian gentleman came out to ask if I was ok, offered me a cuppa and kept watch until the breakdown services arrived. That's the reality of my lovely home city. No civil war here.

Frustrated dog.

Know 👏 your 👏 worth 👏

Police raided the house opposite last night. Very exciting but I didn't get much sleep.

I'm off to the other place. Cannot endorse that cockwomble any longer. Find me on my usual handle. Might pop in every now and then.

Currently watching the Godfather films and now I'm announcing everything like I'm Don Corleone. 'For tea, we must go to the kitchen.' 'I'm going to make you some breakfast you can't refuse.'

So apparently the act of sending loved ones little videos and cute pictures and funny things throughout the day is called “Pebbling” because there’s a species of penguin that likes to leave pebbles in their partners’ nests to show they care, and this is my happy thing for today

I empathise with this!

#Heron