Waiter! This main course is inedible! I thought you said your chef was at entrée level? #LunchPun

I was so late trying to buy Oasis tickets I had to pay fool price. #lunchpun

I live in a zero gravity house. I love it because it’s so quiet in there. I’ve never even heard as much as a pin drop. #Lunchpun

The dairy farmers practical jokes club has substantially increased its membership. The committee stood up to applause and patted each other on the back. #LunchPun

My famous donkey's for sale. Ass seen on TV! #LunchPun

The regiment was issued with deodorants instead of rifles, so they went into battle underarmed. #LunchPun

- Observing the aurorae was a life-changing experience - Have you seen the light? - Er, yeah?! #LunchPun

Charles is a Monarch but Chas is a Moniker #LunchPun

IJSH episode 56 is out tomorrow, Thursday 12th September! This show was recorded at The Guildhall @chi_fringe on 6th June 2024. The panellists joining host Richard Pulsford - at Dundee Fringe 15 & 17th Sept were gerard harris Richie Rands Pepita Productions With On This Day topics and some of Chichester's history.

NOWADAYS TRUMP USES CAPITAL LETTERS TO EMPHASISE A POINT BUT THIS HASN'T ALWAYS BEEN THE CASE #LunchPun

I know that everyone loves the guy that can spin pancakes on the tip of his finger right now but just remember that not all heroes whirr crepes!I #lunchpun

I prefer buttons, zips and hooks myself. Just call me old-fastened. #LunchPun

-You seen the new steakhouse chef - hairy or what?! -Griller? -Well, he's ginger so more of an orangutan, really. #lunchpun

I was the victim of a con involving a time lord, an underwear designer and a wash-basin manufacturer. I fell for it Who, Klein and sinker. #LunchPun

[Zookeeper, on phone] "A lion's escaped from the zoo" [Policeman] "Don't worry, we're on it" #LunchPun

The postman's cat started the electrical fire. So much for being PAT tested. #LunchPun

It was good to catch up with some friends yesterday - surprisingly they were even less fit than I am. #LunchPun

- I'm going to be late home. The traffic is really bad. - That'll be because The World Tetris championships are on - Well that explains why I'm now blocked in #LunchPun

That expensive 'Ming' vase you bought? Well, it says underneath, 'Made in Godalming'. #LunchPun

'Just before people adopt a posture where they lie ON their side with their knees and arms pulled UP towards their chest' are examples of foetal prepositions #LunchPun