It should not cost more than £100 to buy a ticket for ANYTHING. Nothing's that fucking good, for a start. Who is it? Beethoven jamming with Jimi Hendrix? I will give you £67.50. A football team playing another football team? I'll give you £38 and you can piss off x

It can't be *that* boring.

Any plans for the weekend?

Had the Best Of this series on VHS as a kid and must have known the whole thing by heart.

Seems like we are doomed to have some fash wally post about "Britain should have done a deal with Hitler" at least every 2 months. Britain did do a deal, Hitler broke it months later, Stalin cut a deal, Hitler broke it. He would have broken any deal.

'Our house is the ultimate man cave. Police can't get in for 45mins while we smoke cigars because everythings bullet proof. We have a gym and a podcast studio and all we do is train and work. The dream. Not a gay ornament in site. Zero "home" feeling. ONLY WORK FEELING.'

Thursday

#OnThisDay 1974: The first series of Porridge aired on BBC One. Blue Peter's John Noakes visited Elstree Studios during filming on the third series, meeting Ronnie Barker (Fletcher), Richard Beckinsale (Godber), Fulton Mackay (Mr Mackay) and producer/director Sydney Lotterby.

Enjoying all the Arthur Harris stanning over the last couple of days. We can still come together as a country.

Hello from Northampton Crown Court where a defendant has just vaped in the court room, verbally abused the prosecution barrister and told the judge to fuck off. They’re not even sure how he got in here as he was refused entry to the building for being drunk.

That imbeciles like this steal the wages they make is the gravest warning against democracy.

Going to be laughing at this for most of this evening, thank you.

Jeremy Kyle is still scum.

Friday

All government communications will contain flat-out Nazism and sign off with the phrase 'tits in bio'

Facing Moscow.

Typing the code from your authenticator app in with only seconds to spare before it changes.

If I was Jesus and had Russell Brand on the ear 'ole, I'd wonder whether the whole operation had been worth it.