My heart is broken. A 16-year-old high school student in Georgia texted her mom, "I know I've not been a perfect daughter. I love you. I'm sorry." Enough is enough.

When you waited too long to eat, and your Doordash order is late

For something that has been a part of me for nearly my entire life, I have almost no control over what my hair is doing at any given time

I just punched myself in the balls trying to unplug a fan from the wall, just in case you were in the mood for an agile ladies man.

the only thing about the clown panic that’s important to me is that it gave us this:

Yeah I'll be real that's basically what I assumed it was up to

Guy whos listened to 1 Bob Dylan song: This guy sucks Guy whos listened to 100 Bob Dylan songs: Saying he's the most important songwriter of the last 60 years is an understatement he is so much more than just a musician h Guy whos listened to 600 Bob Dylan songs: This guy sucks

Jesus how bad was the movie?

Inconsolably sobbing because I just realized my cat has a tiny brain and a tiny little heart and a tiny liver and teeny tiny kidneys

cover letters are so embarrassing. why am i writing a love letter to this email job

Cool slides for men

Hey guys, has everyone tried giving way less of a shit about some things, and waaay more of a shit about some other things?

Travis Kelce went to the barber and said “Just fuck my shit up fam”

I got 99 problems and every ones a red balloon.

Absolutely same 😂

resist everyone whose only fear is being held accountable.

Having a fiancée is the closest feeling to finding a cool rock as a kid. Like I just found her out in the wild, but she’s in my house now and even though I didn’t do anything I’m oddly proud. Like, “Look! Look how pretty she is! No don’t pick her up only I’m allowed to do that.”

Just overheard someone saying “Yeah, it would be dope if you don’t gaslight me, Dave.”

I love how Chris Pine looks like a suburban mom who is mad she had to leave pilates because her kid got in trouble at school

I am NEVER too busy to say “Hi” to a dog