I call my rental car "Lance" because it's useless and I hate it

I can't imagine giving money to a presidential candidate when there are dog rescues

I hope the whole NYT hit piece on RFK is just about how he's responsible for the Bosstones breaking up.

Don't let Heather Thomson dogsit or she might teach them to talk. tiktok.com/t/ZP811pt2q/

The earthquake wasn't a big deal for me because I was prepared* *Hiding under a desk already, drinking my pee

Voting for Trump because of this hack "white people/spice" bullshit

The Other Two but it's about hawk tuah girl's crackhead mom and some guy named like Filthy Jeff or whatever. (She's fucking him for crack)

Man... 99 Luftballoons is an all-time fuckin' banger.

My Uber driver just brought utter shame upon his family at a 4-way stop

Why did they go with therapist instead of mental hygienist

It would be funny if sports fields worked like farms. Like crop rotation but for sports. Like sorry kids no soccer this year it's all softball

Honestly we deserve President RFK jr

Raise a glass if your favorite bar in your home state didn't fucking burn down last night

If this kid on the plane can watch Paw Patrol without headphones I can fire up some porn

Did I recently big-time a tween with how good my Eras Tour seats were? I think we both know the answer.

I'm shadowbanned

Who's the most underrated band of the 90s I'll go first: SCRAWL