Elon this is your financial advisor. please keep tweeting like a serial killer. it is very good for business. advertisers love it

from early childhood i always knew i wanted to grow up to be someone whose tweets get reposted on instagram meme pages

I would never watch the debate. What a waste of time! I just spend twice as much time catching up on the debate through tweets because smart

That cursed amulet changed you man

“For all the queer kids in the midwest watching right now: I see you, I understand you, because I’m one of you. And don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t be exactly who you wanna be, bitch.” — Chappell Roan accepting Best New Artist at the VMAs. ✨

Brat and it’s completely different but also still brat - Out oct 11. CharliXCX.lnk.to/bratcompletely…

🗽JUST ANNOUNCED!🗽 New York Comedy Festival + The Bell House's 2024 LINEUP IS HERE!🥳

Finally some good news... I am headlining JOE'S PUB on November 14 for the New York Comedy Festival! Tickets: publictheater.org/productions/jo…

Diddy is going to HELL.

If I ask for water and then you give me one of those mini bottles please know that I place a curse upon your bloodline

screams

These paintings need to go! Price is listed and shipping is included.

More paintings that gotta go! Price is listed! Including shipping!

Get away from me and my rotiss Link to special: youtu.be/9oyau71a5XE

Airports should hire me to whack people with pool noodles when they stop and stand in inconvenient places and block everyone

Hello Below Deck heads I’ve been watching Below Deck and Below Deck med (pretty far into both). Which other ones should I watch? Sailing, adventure, down under?

Last month is old because time is fake

I would give up access to AI forever in return for a Google search function that worked like it did 10 years ago

i figured out exactly what the date would be like with one simple question