With Kamala Harris outraising him by nearly 3-to-1, Donald J. Trump is struggling to maintain the illusion of success.

BREAKING: Confused old man wants access to nuclear codes. x.com/RonFilipkowski…

Fact checking superhero Captain Correcto will be standing by in the Breaking Clown Newsroom during the debate, just in case someone lies.

Captain Correcto is using his mind-melding superpowers to decode and debunk the barrage of lies and falsehoods uttered by Donald J. Trump during the debate.

We regret to inform you that Captain Correcto’s head overheated and exploded while fact checking Donald J. Trump.

Orban has been invoked. The gates of Hell are now unlocked.

In other news… x.com/ProjectLincoln…

Train reportedly goes off the rails in Philadelphia.

Due to circumstances beyond our control, Breaking Clown News has an opening for a fact checker. Candidates must have a degree from an accredited clown college and a minimum of three years experience looking things up on Wikipedia. No mimes, please.

BREAKING: Donald J. Trump declines to debate Kamala Harris again.

Statement from Donald J. Trump on why he refuses to debate Kamala Harris again: “Buk-buk-buGAWK!  Buk-buk-BONE SPURS. BuGAWK!”

Captain Capon underwent a name change operation and now wants to be known as Capon Don. He also wants to be a gangster, but he's just a chicken with no balls.

The glare of the spotlight makes it difficult for the romance between Donald J. Trump and @lauraloomer to blossom, but soon they can be alone together. Donald will bring the handcuffs.

Hey kids! Today on Clown Time Story Hour we will read from the Book of Thelma: x.com/TheRealThelmaJ…

That was fun kids! Next week on Clown Time Story Hour, JD Vance will read some terrifying tales he made up about immigrants and other people who don't look like you.

Dictator remains in power nearly two years after losing the vote.