In honor of Greek Week, any student who tries to enter the library will be met a man in a toga and will be asked, “Who do you know here?” or “Name five brothers.” If you cannot do this, you will forced to learn Greek as your only form of communication. Fire up!

Shut up. Fire up!

How has COVID-19 challenged you this year? Let us know! For every excuse that does not meet our standards, a randomly selected student will be given a zero in every course! We will also not be shutting down campus! Get over it and get vaccinated! Fire up!

Any parties this weekend? Our faculty is looking to show that COVID isn’t real. DM’s are open! Fire up!

It has come to our attention that students have been smoking marijuana on campus. Students will not be punished by the university as eternal suffering in the 7th layer of hell for this unforgivable sin is punishment enough! Fire up!

Go ahead and attack both! We won’t do anything except tell you either get smarter or try to get a bid! Fire up or shut up!

Get over it. Fire up!

Tear gas is kinda funny, Lauren Fire up!

We hate it here Fire up!

🚨 TOE FETISH ALERT🚨 Fire up! (DMs are open 😳)

This is why enrollment is down. Fire up!

Thanks for the mention! However, we will be doubling all student account debt because of this tweet! Fire up!

Right here, officer. Fire up!

I’m sure you’re fun at parties! Fire up!

Anyone who unvaccinated will be executed at midnight tonight in front of the UC. Fire up!

Move over Esports team… this is a Craig fan page now! Fire up!

To whoever threw an orange at President Davies during the Homecoming parade, we hope you like Wayside. This Wednesday you will be locked in the cage while the faculty pelts you with fruits. You are not allowed to wear clothes, only the President’s hat. Fire up!

Instead of showing the Central vs. Western game at Okelly’s tomorrow, we have been told the only thing playing on the screens will be a documentary on the Central Michigan Esports team! Fire up!

Anime is now illegal. Fire up!

We forgot to add… if you see the person in the orange jacket in the picture, please call the police. They run this account. Fire up!