Putting the fun in functioning alcoholic

If you really want to get your heart racing, just have a made up argument in your head with someone you haven’t seen in a long time

I feel okay about being mean cause my feelings are always safe

Manchester police: Justice for Shukri Abdi - Sign the Petition! chng.it/75MMrWCk via Change.org

Nothing like cleaning to give you the illusion of control

Had a dream last night I was driving a boat called “self esteem” down a river and it sank so I guess my subconscious is just abandoning any kind of subtly now

You’ll never see this @senatemajldr, but you are a disgusting excuse for a human. You are evil incarnate. You are everything I will fight against so my daughter can thrive in ways that I was never able to.

The fly knows whats what

Some lively ghosts in New York City

Day 1 vs. Day 1,448

Our republic is in great danger, and it is imperiled further without swift action to protect it. The President incited an attack on Congress. He is deeply unstable. The Cabinet must invoke the 25th amendment. Congress must also pursue impeachment and removal of the President.

Turns out, I was the virus the whole time

Things I’ve learned in the pandemic 1. I don’t like pandemics

To my new followers, my name is Sean Perryman. I quit my law firm when it defended Trump and joined Elijah Cummings in investigating Trump instead. I’m a Democrat and will be Virginia’s next LG. I have 18k followers. Help me get to 20k by retweeting and following this account.

Sunday? In the park? with George? In this economy?!

My friends and I only talk shit about people who deserve it. We aren’t gossips, we’re vigilantes.