Dad, do you know the piano's on fire? You hum it son, and I'll play it. #OlympicGames    #STOPTHEBOATS #OpeningCeremony

It was lovely of Freddie Mercury to leave his teeth to Bruno Fernandes. That disallowed goal was certainly a kind of magic. #MCIMUN

What is it you are taking, Elon Musk? You must be on some strong shit at the minute.

Here's Paul Merson in his BBC Strictly ✨ training gear. Good luck, Merse. I hear it's tough in there. Jeff Stelling

I can't wait to hear Paul Merson pronouncing Aljaž Škorjanec, Jowita Przystał and Amy Dowden. Jeff Stelling BBC Strictly ✨

Freedom of speech = freedom to sue. Why do I wish both could lose? Elon Musk

Onslow knows where it's at. Lea facebook.com/share/r/bWDLoE…

Ipswich have played Liverpool and City and Everton are still below them. Lea

Signing incoming. Sources tell me someone has just been smuggled into SJP. Announcement in the next 24 hours. #NUFC

Enjoy the paternity leave, Keith. Congratulations. Sleep is overrated anyway. Someone has just been smuggled out of a black Mercedes people carrier at SJP. Watch this space. Keith Downie #NUFC

Got to say Hawksbee & Jacobs I think UEFA could tell us the fixtures for the CL already. It sounds like a team will be chosen and then their fixtures auto-created by a computer, or put more simply, released. They already know who is playing who.

BREAKING NEWS Hawksbee & Jacobs Chelsea have made late bids for Ryan Giggs, Peter Barnes and Stanley Matthews. Ridiculous, I know, but they started it! Chelsea FC #Chelsea

I actually feel your pain Lea We've all been there.

Bournemouth, the real PROFESSIONAL PISS BOILERS. Lea

Is it some child's 8th birthday at the London Stadium? They have a bubble machine out. #WHUMCI #WestHam #NUFCFans #NUFC

We've seen this before, haven't we. March 2019. Rondon and two from Perez. England's number 1 my arse. #NUFC @Nufc Everton #Everton

The assist The Villa Watch Levels. #SandroTonali

Blimey, #HuwEdwards is back on our screens courtesy of the BBC. Do they have no shame.