Noo don’t kill urself ure a swing state voter aha.

Y’all know some of us were actually alive and able to form memories in the early 00s right? You can’t just say dumb shit like this and expect no push back.

Celebrating the start of Virgo season the only way I know how.

You must be short as hell if you think that’s tall enough to play on the Lakers

It's giving:

Lusting after a homophobic trump supporter is so embarrassing!

Counter point, I’m not afraid of fireworks.

arguably the best place to live in america ever

Harris is securing the ever important punk Mexican vote.

RIP to the "come to brazil" tweets

Maybe the trolley isn’t the problem, did you ever think about that?

This is useless without actually providing the numbers of people who store money at a digital bank (discover, chime, ally) versus people who keep it in a wallet (cash app and Venmo). The former isn’t a problem, but the latter is bad for consumers

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you should probably change the filter on your HVAC.

I need the gays who play in gay sports leagues to understand that most people who run said sports league are well connected within the league and if you shit talk them it will get back to them!

I remember when oracular spectacular came out, because so did I!

Australians get so upset when you inform them that Americans just don’t give a shit about them. They’re so convinced we care that they hate us, but the average American doesn’t think about Australia

I thought they were going to mute his fucking mic

Find you a man who does both (me!)