most of the couchfucking jokes have barely registered but this one absolutely killed me, I've been intermittently laughing at it for like an hour

“a wish for a horse” trust me, you’ll want to stick around for the ending

Independent of the model itself, it's clear as day the electoral college is, to quote the great justice Jackson a national suicide pact. Just a wildly dangerous institution that undermines democracy but also creates all manner of rube-goldberg machinery to be attacked by bad

(after going on a controversial podcast) it's funny you say that because women are actually Evil (remembering i'm running in a national election) some of them anyway, they're not all bad (remembering i'm running as a republican) but we will punish them all equally

it’s that easy!

register to vote!! i personally think we should elect an overwhelmingly majority of politicians who believe in clean air and water for future generations!! headcount.org

Ask the country to have a debate. My God. Forget the violation of your oath to the Constitution. Imagine being this depraved, this servile, this pathetic. This is why Trump needs to be asked about 2020 tonight and in every interview.

Trump’s neck p*ssy is crazy tonight 🥴

He sounds like a guy yelling at random people on 34th Street with a karaoke speaker

When he said they’re giving migrants sex changes I nearly spit out my dog

some of my most Far-Side-coded comics to date

i love the MAGA idea of “cheating” at a debate by getting the questions in advance as if each question that night wasn’t just “can you talk about this topic without showing clear signs of mental deterioration”