I don't have a fifth of anything in my closet. I rarely drink.

I mean yeah, kinda.

The 2024 election in video form.

He’s gonna drop out of the race for HOA chairman.

Trump is old.

JD Vance seeing what’s happening and looking at Trump like

Was it too much to ask for them to position the teleprompter appropriately for this?

I’m going to have to start giving Trump writing credits on ads I make.

Lost in the responses to Trump’s comments last night is his assertion that “Christians notoriously don’t vote.” Uh… evangelicals are traditionally one of the largest voting blocs in American politics (26%). Does he ever know what he’s talking about?

I just found out that I’m the same age as Doc Brown was in Back to the Future so I’m going to go cry in the shower with all my clothes on.

Ok God, we get it. We're sorry. Now fix everything.

Heard Trump gave a great speech today.

Cybertrucks are the vaping of cars.

I don’t know what they’re talking about. I joined a website called Twitter 15 years ago.

I got a new webcam for my monitor and it's fully HD and shows me in full detail on meetings so I'm setting it on fire now.

HE CAN STILL BE THE NOMINEE IF MIKE PENCE HAS THE COURAGE

I've seen more people on the right tweeting Snopes for backup tonight than I've ever seen in my life.

According to my photo memories I went to Naples in 2016. There’s pictures of me there and everything. I have absolutely zero recollection of this trip.