Thank Fuck i can stop Shitting on Joe Biden.

I am delighted to Announce I am going to be the Next President of America. Yep.

I am in the Olympics Opening Ceremony. Yep. Missed my boat though.

A PIANO IS ON FIRE A FUCKING PIANO IS ON FIRE A FUCKING PIANO IS ON FUCKING FIRE TRYING NOT TO PANIC

Has Jesus come back as a Metal Horse?

Even I know Boats are Faster than Horses on Water and I’m not even French. I am a Fucking Pigeon.

Paris Olympics giving me Flashbacks

This Olympics Opening Ceremony has really set the Standard. The Standard is Shit.

Does the River Seine start in Stoke? Fucking feels like it.

After a Marathon on a boat. A Fucking Marathon on legs.

EMERGENCY FUCKING MASSIVE BURNING BALLOON AVOIDING MANOEUVRES

Has anyone checked if the Metal Horse is still going?

This is Pigeon!

Shat on the shit BMX

You can always spot the Far-Right pigeons. Yep. They are the ones who shit on their own feet and their toes have fallen off.

If you Do Not want people to call you tiny minded, Far-Right Terrorists for smashing up towns, Do not smash up towns like tiny minded, Far-Right Terrorists. Terrorist advice there.

I have won Gold for Shitting.

I have Rejoined Oasis.

Shat on a Fucking Massive Queue.

Feral Pete told me he’d got us Tickets to see Oasis. Yep. He took me to the drink’s cabinet in Tesco.