Self-reflection #39 I identify as Schrodinger's introvert cat. I'm at home. But if you want to come over, I'm not. I'm free. But if you want to hang out, I'm not.

Thank you Sir Dr Uday S Kulkarni for a signed copy of this treasure. Much appreciated. I look forward to immersing myself into what promises to be yet another gem authored by you.

When your city has Chikungunya and Dengue outbreaks but your politicians are too busy discussing Aurangzeb, and people too busy posting social media versions of "tu jaanta nahi mera baap kaun hai".

Nahi. Left hand se ek hee cheez karte hain.

Life Update- It's end of the month. I'm displaying symptoms of hand to mouth disease.

One of the most useful inventions that wasn't available when I was growing up are these plastic sealing clips. They make life in the kitchen a lot more convenient. Do you use them too?

If you had a flag, what would you put on it? My flag would feature Kalakand :) And yes, TIL...

"The family, in a petition, argued that the teen had submitted a 300-word essay, hence the car should be returned." Repeat after me - India is my country and all Indians are my brothers and sisters. I love my country and I am proud of its rich and varied heritage.

Is there a skill that you've tried to master your entire life but keep failing at miserably? For me it's this cool way of shuffling cards. I've been trying since childhood, but to this day I suck at it. Can you shuffle a card deck like this?

Make me your last mistake

"Sonu Nigam is a mediocre singer." Those in agreement say Aye.

Jim Beam. You?

Ladies, it's absolutely acceptable if men use the same serving spoon for rice, daal, & sabji. It's the sequence that matters - first the serving spoon goes into the rice pot, then the same spoon is used for sabji, & finally the daal. Men aren't lazy, we're just saving water.

Jab mere twitter DM jaisi kismat ho.

My friends who can croon a tune - when u sing at a party, which is the song u often open with? My blessed friends who can't sing to save their lives, if u could, which would be ur first song? My trademark opener is Hemant Kumar's "Tum Pukar Lo" followed by "Meri Bheegi Bheegi Si"

Last two years of investing in stock market have made me quite spiritual. The maximum downside of any of my shares is a bottle of whiskey.

Here are my nominations for the best drink-accompaniment pairings: Chai - Samosa Black Coffee - Cinnamon Roll Green Tea - Crocin Whiskey - Fish Fingers Beer - Fish Fry Rum - Masala Peanuts Gin - Pita bread & Dips What would your nominations be?

What they really mean - The pale colour of water doesn't mean it's dirty. It's potty water.

What they really mean - We think the previous guest did not use this towel so we folded it back for you.

Mummy - Beta humne tumse ek baat chhupa ke rakhi thi. Tum Khajuraho ke rajkumar ho.