On the horizon, off in the distance is where I need to be. But I must split myself. Part of me must be orphaned here, a hostage to reality, so that the imaginary part of me can roam free. And right there is: all of my loss.

"i love you, its ruining my life" -me to shopping on Amazon

We're gonna need a bigger straitjacket

When I was a boy you didn’t see mosquitos til it got dark, and other things I tell my kids that they don’t believe.

Think globally (my living room). Act locally (Diet Coke in my favorite red cup).

The piece meat speaks of war. It beckons the new age of planes and bullets only to be refused its only request. It may be against regulation, but the thinking meat wants to show the world the reality of what is to come

Everyone else wants to talk about the debate, and I just want to talk about my dog's haircut.

The wind wishes—.

Doc says it's like the wheel is sad and the hamster don't notice. Now I am not sure if that's diagnosis or wisdom but the idea of bilateral buccal cheek pouches sucking in distractions it does sound kinda hoardible [spittoon ping]

To the tune of a trickle.

"whisky before beer, never fear" was not about mixing spirits in the correct order, but rather that you become accustomed to sipping at a different pace.

I've discovered a naturally occurring substance that is twice as strong as a strand of spider silk. I call it "two strands of spider silk."

Boo is startled by a scheming local.

Taylor and Dave were both in London at the same time in June. Just sayin.

I have seen mountains and oceans, and canyons filled with fog.

In the late 80s, you could just decide to start wearing a beret and no one would say anything.

🎤the tweets are watchin’

The day and its accompanying indignities.

Be advised it's vapid out

I’m not really big on giving directions so I just tell people to drive into the sea