A BRAND NEW ZODIAC WHERE THE SIGNS ARE NOW THE MUPPETS!!!!

No I think this is wrong

Sonny Corleone was neutered today and he is very sad please tell him he is a good boy

My husband just walked in and said "oh the kitchen smells like garlic! Did you cook something?" And I had to tell him no, I accidentally broke a jar of garlic trying to get to the Cool Ranch Doritos

One of the first days filming Matilda, a man who looked very familiar turned to me, completely deadpan, and said “Did you hear the one about the bed?” I said no. He said, “It’s not made up yet.” It still makes me smile. #RIPPaulReubens

Me, opening my car's back door: ah fuck no paintings