The low road has less traffic sometimes.

Sex is fun, but have you ever watched a compilation of children being told they are being adopted and leaked out of your face for an hour?

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I will continue to be a c*nt for the foreseeable future. Thank you for your understanding during this time.

Happiest person for the Trump News? Diddy.

I want to take this time to recognize that PRIDE MONTH is hard for us straights. Please consider being delicate with your words during this time, as there are lots of people who are struggling with the fact we are attracted to straight men. I’m just saying, do better.

Dogs and cats on July 4th morning: …shit…

The difference between the amount of time I think about what comes out of my mouth, BEFORE it does, versus after…is…astounding…really. It’s like 0.00 seconds worth of thought vs the rest of my life. I’m silly.

Sitting with your best friend of 26 years. Friend: ok… I have to head back to work. I’m so happy we got to catch up! Me: same! Love you! Also what is your job?

I used to get velvet rope/bottle service at clubs all over nyc now I’m f*cking up prime day, bitch wait that sounded way better in my head-

We straight up watched Mr. Miyagi convince Daniel that doing his household chores for him would make him learn karate. And we were like “omg yahhhh! That’s totally karate…yeah…hubbub karate hubbub…sand floor…karate…brilliant” The 80’s was so stoned.

Just because you write it doesn’t make it true. This woman was assigned female at birth. She is a biological woman. Google is fast and free people! Don’t look away this is brainwashing.

They don’t care about women’s sports. They don’t care about unborn babies. They don’t care about women’s rights. Every maga weirdo that tweeted about #Imane_Khelif -slap down your WNBA Tickets. Who’s your favorite player? Post a pic in merch from a female team. Thought not.

Snoops genuine excitement for the Olympics could unite our country.

Imagine making someone’s flaw the fact that they laugh. Ya got nothing.

Me as a therapist, probably

Sorry I started crying, I do that whenever anyone says anything I don’t like. Or like a lot.

Tim Walz’s son yelling “that’s my dad” at the DNC will be my entire life for the foreseeable future. I thank you.

I think it’s kind of messed up everyone is dumping on Trump for saying they kill babies…he was obviously talking about school shootings. You all are so quick to judge the man! He wanted to talk gun control! Sheesh!

Does anyone know of a place that offers a zoom course in how to be normal?

If you don’t like eating the cat, you’re doing it wrong. 😽