Dear reader, Once upon a time... A dentist went out to buy the best car on the market, a brand-new Bugatti Chiron. It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it cost him $1.5M. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. An old man on a moped, looking about

- Ad Execs Gone Wild - Dear reader, The human brain contains 86 billion neurons. Apparently, for some advertising execs, 68 billion just isn't nearly enough. Lest you think I'm being unjustly tough on advertising guys, I present you with exhibit A: In 1994, Fiat (the Italian

- Listen up, Shorty - Dear reader, Allow me to share a cherished quote: "The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train." ~ David Lee Roth. You know, when it comes to sales, optimism can sometimes cloud our judgment. Many folks believe that

Rule of Dumb: The Guide to Abusing the Rhetorical Question Dear reader, Ever seen a hack copywriter try to use rhetorical questions in their promotional emails? Often, they'll shoehorn them into their email intro like they're going out of style. Listen, a good rule of thumb

Dear reader, I was at a slick bar the other night and saw a breathtakingly beautiful woman. I'm talking supermodel-level beauty. So, naturally, I saunter over and pop the usual, "Where are you from? What do you do?" She says, "Oh, me? I'm from Surry Hills. I'm a brain

- Bad Intentions - Dear reader, Mike Tyson's mentor and boxing coach, Cus D'Amato, once said this: "A lot of fighters have great punching techniques, but what separates Tyson from the others is the intention behind the punch. Every punch Mike throws has bad intentions behind

- The Salesman's Salesman - Dear reader, When life seems dull and daily chores are getting you down... ... where do you turn? To Papa Maverick's newsletter, of course! OK. Perhaps I'm giving myself a little too much credit there. But I'll tell you this: For those whose

Dear reader, Women disgust me! Alright, now that I’ve got your attention, especially you ladeez, hear me out: When a woman spots a big, fat, juicy, puss-filled pimple on her man, what does she say? You guessed it! Her eyes widen like saucers, she licks her lips, and blurts

- The Burden of Always Being Right - Dear reader, Question for ya: What would be the typical business owner's biggest expense? Staff wages? Rent? Inventory? Utilities? All good answers, but still not the "Bingo!" answer. No. The single biggest expense for the average

Dear subscriber, So I'm mindlessly scrolling through the bottomless pit of superficiality known as Instagram (I know, I know, I should know better), and I stubbed my eye on a post featuring a guy caressing a laydee's chin like he's auditioning for a romance novel cover. The

- I can be a real dumbarse sometimes - Dear reader, Imagine this: You're a world-class MMA fighter. I'll explain that for the laydeez. That means you're fighting on the razor's edge of the highest echelons of the fight game. And... you have a secret weapon - a kick so

"Nobody who ever gave his best regretted it." ~ George Halas Dear reader, The above quote is going to serve as both a lesson to writers and as a segue for today's message. Okay, Freckles, let's start with the lesson, eh? Now, who the heck was George Halas? George Halas was a

- Premature AD-jaculation - Dear subscriber, I've never done this before... ... but I'm going to promote, not the upcoming July issue, but rather... ... The Upcoming August Issue! Is that because the July issue is bit of a bummer? A dud? A failed issue? No, numbnuts. The

- The Wolf of Email - Dear reader, Lemme tell you a little story I read recently. Once upon a time (circa 1947) ... an Alaskan hiker was hiking (what else?) along Coho Creek on southeastern Alaska’s Kupreanof Island. He was prospecting for gold. As he was searching for a

- Jeff, Charlie, Bill, and Dave - Dear reader, In 2019... Jeff Bezos sat his rich arse down and was interviewed by Charlie Rose of 60 Minutes (the amount of time it takes Bezos to make 8 million dollars. True.) Below is an insightful snippet from that little tete-a-tete.

- David who? - Dear reader, Not long ago... I was chatting with this dude in his late thirties who works at a digital marketing agency. Naturally, we start jawing about marketing. And this is where the guy lost me. And I don't mean he was talking over my head with complex

"I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands." ~ Steven Wright Dear reader, A favorite quote of mine is from the great American football coach Vince Lombardi. The impassioned coach once yelled this: PRACTICE DOES NOT MAKE PERFECT.  PERFECT PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT!!!

Dear reader, I know I blather on about storytelling with unfailing regularity. Nevertheless, I proffer no penitence for such a predilection. Storytelling is where it's at. There are many reasons I use storytelling in my promotional emails. Here's one of them: Nobody Argues

"An action committed in anger is doomed to failure." ~ Genghis Khan Dear reader, An insightful Genghis Khan quote, wouldn't you say? To conquer half the known world and leave a trail of enemies in your wake, you'd picture a guy with steam coming out of his ears, teeth

Dear reader, Once upon a time... ... there was a fisherman who was so good at fishing, he gained legendary status in his community. The local fisherman called him The God of Rods. In local taverns, his name was uttered with great reverence and awe. This man dominated all the