I can understand my hair going grey BUT WHY OH WHY IS MY BEARD GOING GINGER? #adamandhistechnicolourfacecoat

The earth is fucked. theguardian.com/environment/20…

Absolute scenes from Spain. What odds on Zidane taking over? He’s available, has pedigree in knockout competitions, a great relationship with the Madrid players, and he can teach Sergio Ramos how to properly assault someone in a final.

Yeah so a good header doesn’t hurt. I mean the moment you head it proper, you feel it’s a good one. Know what I mean love?

Spanish-language ‘Skyscraper’ advert promises Dwayne Johnson will face off against 3500 PIES which is a lot for even him to handle.

When Theresa May calls for a “hard-headed and practical” Brexit, does she realise she’s quoting Mr Birling? Like, I don’t think he’s the hero of An Inspector Calls.

Cannon and Ball

For no reason whatsoever, here is a quote from The Great Gatsby: “I was thirty. Before me stretched the portentous, menacing road of a new decade. The promise of a decade of loneliness, a thinning list of single men to know, a thinning briefcase of enthusiasm, thinning hair.”

Hello is this on? My radio play Settlers with the wonderful Laura Aikman, Tom Rosenthal and Hamish Rush is on at 2:15 on BBC Radio 4 and is about two people stuck inside for a really long time so will be a nice distraction for you all. bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00…

Stuff you learn in lockdown - at Christmas, my mum got an email from the big Sainsbury’s congratulating her on being the fourth biggest purchaser of sliced Gouda in the store.

New in our #script library - The Book of Yehudit by Adam Usden won the Imison Award at this year's Audio Drama Awards (Best Script by a Writer New to Radio). It's repeated today BBC Radio 4 2.15pm & BBC iPlayer for 30 days bbc.in/2E6D9j3 Society of Authors BBC Radio Drama

When you’re allergic to sesame, falafel is basically your biggest problem.

They didn't make a mistake. Excellent, pained play set in Manchester's orthodox community. x.com/adamusden/stat…

That’s gonna be onnnnne tasty meal.

Worst superpower ever would be invisibility that only activates on zebra crossings.

Baffled and very pleased to have been included on this list, especially as I don’t appear to be related to the person who compiled it. prolificnorth.co.uk/broadcasting/t…

Guys like, when did anyone last have a Rolo? When did anyone last see Rolos? #wherearerolos