There should be consequences for sports guys getting it wrong. As it stands now, a bad take just means more engagement and more money. We’ve incentivized these dingdongs for being bad at their jobs. In my job at the CIA, if I assassinate the wrong dictator, it’s like a huge deal.

We used to be real country. Men used to follow through on their promises to eat dog poop when their team lost. Integrity used to mean something.

Alabama Senator Dabo Swinney?

Pokémon are becoming a problem, people say. Cities being overrun with Pokémon. Of course they’re not all bad. The lightning one, the turtle that squirts water. Some are nice. Crazy Kamala wants to let them run free! But we’re going to catch them ok? We’re going to catch them all.

They delay the flights on purpose so Hudson News can sell more room temperature bottles of Aquafina and Diet Coke

Driving through Homewood this morning I saw a bunch of signs that said VOTE YES CITY MANAGER. A quick google search tells me I’m actually too poor to know what that means.

Just saw a couple saying goodbye in our office parking lot, after what looked like possibly a lunch date. There was some shuffling of leftover boxes and a hug, but then dude went in for a kiss and she turned her head at the last second so he got all cheek. Just brutal. Prayers up

Got introduced as “he was there when that guy got stuck in the urn” at a business meeting today.

We can never let the AI scan this book or the robots will learn to cry real human tears

Some of y’all need to log off and try this

Customer: do you have bread pudding? Me: Yes! Can I get you some? Customer (faraway look in her eyes): No… no, I’m sorry, I… had a bad experience with some bread pudding once… Me: …oh, I’m sorry to hear that… Customer: I’m sure yours is fine though

Post Malone and Morgan Wallen??? How bout you Post Ma obituary after I Morgan Walken front of a bus!!!!!!!

In this house we KNEEL for the FLAG and LIE DOWN for the CROSS! Sorry if this OFFENDS you snowflakes! It’s not POLITICAL we are just very TIRED!

Fine I’ll say it. There’s not enough nudity in this lord of the rings show.

Just heard the old man with the crazy sideburns and the trucker hat who used to walk laps everyday in the Galleria has passed away. RIP to a Bham legend.

Hey sorry I swerved into your lane a little there. That DJ Khaled song came on and I had to put my hands up and make them stay there for a bit.

“This is no time for politics” says nation that turned politics into a billion dollar 24/7 live sporting event.

(At my first rodeo) Oh yeah I’ve done this tons of times. Riding the cows and whatnot, I got you. Or we can lasso the horses first, I’m good either way, your call.