I enjoy that the captions have the same cadence to them as that one dead-eyed guy's tiktoks about baby gronk news

heat me up if you're ever in town

I hate it when the work suffers as a result

at the botanic gardens going up to every plant and loudly mentioning that I have the same one but bigger and healthier at home

it doesn't feel right that Albert Einstein was German I think he should have talked like a half life scientist

hmm! don't think i want that

a lot of kids are going to grow up assuming "gen z"->"gen alpha" means there were already generations named after all the other letters. someone will have to explain that we started with X because it was the 80s and they thought it sounded cool

Gen gamma youth (has only known endless wasteland): perhaps they dubbed themselves "Generation X" knowing their hedonistic ways heralded the End Gen alpha sage (remembers the before times): nah they thought it sounded cool. like X-treme you know. It was kind of a marketing ploy

boss seems to feel threatened by my cavalier, devil-may-care attitude towards carrying out my essential work duties

Big day for annoying whi- [envisioning 10,000 quote tweets about calling white women annoying as a cover for misogyny] white gays

"Spencer" - something of a scary name. evokes scissor + pincer

a specific amusing thing about musk fans is that their whole schtick relies on constructing an image of him as sardonic and unbothered when all evidence points to him being dangerously insecure at all times

enjoying a thin broth with the homies

Oh honey I'm fixing to burst

boss: Bonuses are in! Be sure to treat your special someone to a nice dinner (looking at me) or in your case I guess watch some extra fancy cartoon pornography me: Futurama Fry squinting image macro. Not sure if trolling....eh. no matter. Disregard females; acquire currency!

looking for staples in an unfamiliar environ; opening and closing ever so many drawers

You guys gotta see this Richard Kind clip

(starting my presentation to the shareholders) first of all I would like to preface this by reminding everyone that money isn't the absolute worst thing to be hemorrhaging

it was a fun era when people would post "acab" and immediately get 20 replies like aw cmonnnnnnn not ALL cops!! not my brother in law Violent Paul 🥺

it's always pretty funny when like the bass player of a band has a stage name. who is that for man