Disney+ is the Criterion Channel for adults who say “nom nom”

Damn, nearly everyone I know went from zero to “BETCH I’m going to CASK OF AMONTILLADO myself into my own T.V. HOLE, cause #DisneyPlus is here 🤗 and this is my #SuperBowl of #CHILDHOOD” in less than 24 hours. Me scared.

Why is "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" told as a morality story to children, but not "Cassandra, the Woman Who Told the Truth But Was Never Believed" as well?

Sometimes I’ll stop in my tracks and recall that there was one episode of Frasier where a character handled a raw chicken, stuffed it in the fridge LOOSE, and didn’t wash her hands before exiting the room. It’s one of life’s lovely, distressing mysteries. #frasier #loosechicken

PSA: The whole “Baby Yoda isn’t actually THE Yoda, he’s a different creature of Yoda’s SPECIES” thing is the Frankenstein vs. Frankenstein’s Monster debacle of 2019. You’re bein’ a “Frankenstein’s Monster Guy” when you do that. #babyyoda #iknowhesnotyoda #themoreyouknow

Liberals yesterday: Kamala is a cop Liberals today: An all white debate stage oh no how did this happen

Ohhhh yeah. BIG college-acting-program-run-by-bitter-professors mood 😗. #YellEveryLineOrGetCut #acting #craft

Tips for a fun and SAFE #Roaring20s party: beware of buddies using you to rekindle a romance with a married old-flame, don’t hit your husband’s mistress with a sick ride, and avoid the swimming pool. Also, a room full of $$ shirts =/= good reason to bang them (standards, baby 😘)

Facebook is absolutely a creepily omniscient presence to us all. That said, I keep getting targeted ads for “Better Fitting Bras for AA, A, and B Cups,” so there’s GOT to be some kind of Death Star thermal exhaust port flaw somewhere on that bad boy. #socialmedia #deathstar #DD

“Cats” is a bonkers, fever-dreamscape. That said, I’m 100% rolling into 2020 with big Mr. Mistoffelees Post-Conjuring-Turn energy. #cats #bigmiatoffeleesenergy #hellscape #musicaltheater

My 23-year-old ass at my old theater telemarking job after getting yelled at for going off-script, even though I nabbed a $500 donation. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Me and my college acting studio BFF doing Meisner exercises for the bitter professor who just dressed us down for no reason other than to eat up class time. #meisner #bfa #fashion #marcjacobs instagram.com/p/B74dGeHFYB1/…

i wish id have screen shotted yall saying youd vote for a woman if it was elizabeth warren

Personal Discovery: I get anxious, but at least I’ve never been “Buying Stuffed Bears at Walgreens on February 13th” caliber anxious. #walgreens #peoplewatching #luv

You're spitting all over the place and acting like a total embarrassment, so your chill Dad is here to pick you up. Sanders says attacks urging Warren to drop out are 'disgusting' nbcnews.com/politics/2020-… via NBC News

The photoshop edits of empty “Nighthawks” and “A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte” made me bawl my eyes out and delve into a deep philosophical spiral, so good job, I guess? #art #AIC #hopper #seurat #COVID19 #existentialcrisis

Good news! It took 9 days of social distancing and working from home, but the #Duolingo Owl is finally proud of me again! Vale la pena. Yo estoy feliz 🦉💞.

Holy SHIT her pause at the end. That's 'cuz her producer is SCREAMING in her ear to cut away from this guy dropping hard truths.