Farewell, Suella De Vil.

The optician only has contact lenses in stock for my left eye. But she suggests that - since it’s almost Halloween - I wear a patch over the other one and pretend to be a pirate. Sound professional advice.

There’s only one of these ‘Necessary Tools’ in this house, and he’s not actually that helpful in the furniture construction department.

‘In the 1950s everybody wanted to be a playwright but it’s very hard to imagine if a writer had any choice of career at the moment that they would start with the theatre.’ Slightly depressing opinion to wake up to from Nick Hornby in The Observer.

Excellent notice in the Guildhall Council Chamber ⁦York Unlocked⁩. Thinking of putting up something similar in our kitchen.

Appaling decline in customer service OVO Energy Automatic DD increase - when I'm in 100s of £ of credit. No phone line. Unhelpful bot chat. Finally the promise of a person on live chat, but I'm number 89 in the queue. And it all takes FAR longer on livechat than on a call. Awful

Brilliant thread.

Lovely job as Operations Director here York Theatre Royal. Salary is £40,000 per year. Come look after this marvellous building, help us make sure it’s accessible for everyone. Please apply. #York #artsjobs

yorktheatreroyal.co.uk/work-for-us/op…

It may have taken me 13 years, but I have aced parenting. Last night, my children peeled the potatoes while my husband and I drank negronis. Follow me for further tips.

I am the Chair of this brilliant charity and we are looking for a new trustee. Please share!

Uh-oh. This is the book my 13 year old has just bought herself. Thoughts and prayers, please.

I’ve just opened my marking folder to discover how someone in Admin sees me. Cannot stop laughing.

There was a pair of abandoned trousers by the photocopier on my corridor today. Surely September is very early for the ‘Photocopy your bottom at the Christmas Party’ season to start?

Done. Very important. Very simple.

🚨 Last chance to apply to join our free acting & leadership program that kicks off this autumn

Deadline 10am Thurs 29 Sept
nyt.org.uk/steppingup

York Unlocked are still looking for volunteers to help steward buildings 15/16 October. Can anyone in York History, Archaeology UoYork or History of Art York spread the word to students looking for voluntary/work experience? #yorkunlocked

My neighbour’s sunflower heads bring all the squirrels to the yard. Kelis’s little-known follow-up.