“Why are you crying?” “You wouldn’t understand”

For those of you who followed the Stumpy saga this year, I have good news! Stumpy's clippings are now growing into self-sustaining plants. Stumpy lives on! The National Arboretum gave me permission to use this photo in my "Remembering Stumpy" 2025 calendar.

Here we go again.

Whilst in Aberdeen, I am staying in an old 1800’s hotel. i am in the Most Haunted room of it- which was vacated this morning by one of our producers. Odd electrical and physical occurences scared her into leaving asap. Stay tuned- if anything happens I will report.

the european mind cannot comprehend lil jon doing georgia's roll call

States that are actually ~commonwealths~ when introducing themselves during the state roll call.

GENE PARMESAN?!?

Lee Corso comes out on stage, puts on the giant foam Kamala head. Kirk Herbstreit’s head explodes.

I can confirm I am NOT the secret guest at the DNC tonight.

The ghost messing with Guillermo del Toro is the surprise DNC guest tonight…

BREAKING: Sources confirm that tonight’s DNC surprise speaker is none other than Dr Charles Nichols, who will speak about the benefits of Provasic

The DNC special guest

If it's the fuckin new radicals again im gonna put my heart in a blender

Vice President Kamala Harris takes the stage to accept the Democratic nomination for president on the final night of three Democratic National Convention in Chicago

The DNC surprise guest exists in the context of all in which you live and what came before you

So, that was a lie…

Everybody has their favorite Robert McFadden lead sentence but I dare you to find one better than this, from 1/1/00.

Large tree branch on occupied vehicle 2800 block Woodley Rd NW. 1 adult & 3 children self evacuated. All evaluated by EMS but are uninjured. Requesting DDOT DC & Urban Forestry to scene. #DCsBravest

Wait, who is this Abdul?