We’ve been working hard behind the scenes with Them™ to further improve our Dihydrogen Monoxide mix. We have invested in carbon capture techniques and used the by products to produce Carbonated Dihydrogen Monoxide! As such we have earned the prestigious WEF approved status.

Hope you’re all enjoying the space chemtrails tonight.

Southwest of Huddersfield lies the village of Netherthong (yes it’s real, look it up) There we’re building a large Glycosidic Ozone Nebulising Aerial Delivery System we hope will be operational for Glastonbury festival so we can make it rain on fecking Coldplay #GeoEngineering

HAARP UK It’s radar you absolute numpty. They’ve been in portreath since 1940. 🤣

New experimental low altitude chemtrails deployment devices on Bernard Brontë Way in Bradford. These can be put alongside existing weaponised 5G streetlights and connected to the secret underground Dihydrogen Monoxide infrastructure. Much more accurate than spraying from aircraft

Our chief pilot Captain Mike Oxbigg today sprayed chemtrails behind the sun due to NASA not informing us they were moving their fake sun closer to the ground for maintenance. This is the reality of The Cabal using contractors. No joined up thinking. We have issued a complaint.

Worried about Chemtrails? Boost your immune system with our very own Homeopathic DHMO - Small amounts of natural DHMO to train your immune system - No adverse effects* - No nasty chemicals - Tastes great *May cause death if inhaled. Overdose may cause micturition.

The WEF have invited us to join a coalition of chemtrail services organisations across the world with a goal to coordinate and improve spray operations. The group will be known as The Aluminiuminati.* *Membership from £4.99 per month. 10% off ACME products.

Now Pride month has begun we can start spraying our special mix of Dihydrogen Monoxide and Hydrogen Hydroxide. These rainbow chemtrails smell of pine needles and ferrets and contain 3 of your 5 a day nutrients. They also make your laundry smell fresh Have a gay spray darlings x

Well that’s it. We’re not allowed in Tennessee from today. So anything in the sky there that looks odd is really definitely not us. Absolutely not. No way.

This morning we have test deployed our Turbo Clouds over Yorkshire. Created using DHMO and illudiumQ-36, the clouds can be configured to carry an active ingredient rapidly across the population including vaccines, pathogens, smells, nanobots and LSD. Only Halal ingredients used.

Worried that They™ are spraying you from the sky? Catch them in the act with our new chemtrails testing kit. - No experience required (in fact no experience preferred) - Comes in a variety of colours - Mostly safe - Suitable for ages 7 and above

Happy Yorkshire Day everyone. #YorkshireDay By way of celebration, we are having an open day where you can visit our secret chemtrails operations control centre. Pop along any time today. Central Huddersfield near the Weatherspoons on King St. You can’t miss it.

It’s a glorious day, perfect for hanging out your washing. Today’s #chemtrails operations over the UK are Alpine Fresh and Wild Flower fabric conditioners. So ditch the tumble dryer, help the environment and let us give you fabulous smelling undergarments as a treat.

Big shout out to Captain Mike Oxbigg and crew spreading the chemtrailed aluminium love over Denby Dale in our modified Boing AR-5E aircraft (call sign PEN15). It’s turned the sun to a pale shade of blue/white as ordered. Have a fun sunny day everyone x

Devon. Escot Park. We’re testing out our invisible chemtrails which are primarily composed of transparent aluminium which was invented by the famous engineer Montgomery Scott.

We live in worrying times. mPox, riots, awful 90s bands reforming… The list goes on. But you can stop worrying about chemtrails because we have developed an exclusive survival kit. - Demonstrate your non-compliance - 3 fruity flavours - no plumbing required.

Sick of the government controlling your weather? Hit them where it Hertz with the HAARP UK home weather control kit - Generates Frequencies! - Probably safe - USB connectivity - Advanced wave couplings for fine control of transitional amplitudes - WEF approved - 32% recyclable

Curious about cloud seeding? Now you can do your own research at home with our amazing cloud seeding kit - Just add Dihydrogen Monoxide (not included) - Magna Carta approved legal cover in case of mishap - Totally scientific and covered by a long list of meaningless patents

Good morning UK. We’ve been up early today chemtrailing for the start of the respiratory virus season. We’ve been spraying ivermectin, vitamin D and bovril to keep you all healthy and stop you workshy communists taking days of work because you have a sniffle ☁️☁️✈️ 🤧