My dog keeps licking his private parts. It’s like he’s on Viagara. It won’t go back down. Anyone experience this and have a remedy? Do these dog anti licking sprays work?

Republicans are pro life except when those lives are Palestinian children.

America is being played like a fiddle by Netanyahu who lies like a rug. Don’t bring us into World War III.

Trump is so mad and scared he’s pooping ketchup.

Is Trump going to drop out of the race?

I have a friend whose mother constantly abuses her emotionally. She puts her down, calls her a liar, makes plans with her and then if something better comes along cancels her. Would you cut this mother off?

My vet told me to buy lube for my dog. Something I never thought would be on my bingo card.

Hallllllloooooooooo! Musk what have you done with my followers? Time to free all the prisoners.

I finally feel like Trump is going to lose!

Nothing is forever. Not even Twitter.

If Republicans could take away a woman’s right to think, they would do it.

Life before Trump was a better time.

Trump can’t even pronounce his opponent’s name yet some people will trust him with their very lives?

“Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for Trump”

A day without humor is a day wasted.

Forget losing my religion, I keep losing my remote control. Anyone have any innovative ways to keep it from getting lost. I would like a sound attached to it somehow so that I can call it.

Does a person who snores realize they’re snoring or are they oblivious to it?

Fuck gun culture.

If you don’t care about the children in your own country dying, why would you care about the children of Palestine?

Who else would get their sentencing delayed until after an election? Ugh